Welcome to America!

Come on in, the border’s
open
Don’t be a terrorist is all
we’re hopin’.
Walk right in, you’re
always welcome
Immigration’s been told to
just play dumb.
No I.D. is ever needed,
All our laws can go unheeded.
The Feds are suing
Arizona,
For arrestin’ folks not
home-growna.
Though this is the job of
Eric Holder
He’s giving them the cold
shoulder.
“Don’t tell me how to do
prosecution,
“I don’t care for no constitution.”
Come on in, illegal aliens,
We’ll get you papers, make
you Episcopalians.
We’ll get you tags for your
pickup truck,
We’ll get you a license with
any luck.
No longer will you be an
undocumented,
We’ll get you papers, most
invented.
You kids can get free education,
Paid for by us with our taxation.
You can buy all the food you
need,
But please don’t use it for
weed.
For all this we’ll pick up the
check,
Don’t try this though in
Quebec.
Going north is not so easy,
Their laws aren’t quite so
breezy.
And North Korea’s definitely out,
You’ll be fried like a rainbow trout.
I wouldn’t try this in Iran,
Or you’ll find a lesser lifespan.
China will not welcome
your intrusion,
Their tortures can be quite
confusin’.
Health care here for you is
free,
Should you be bitten by a
bumblebee.
No license needed to drive
our roads,
No matter what it says in
the vehicle codes.
The worst that’ll happen is
you’ll return,
To where you can make
another u-turn.
And come on back with all
you siblings,
And settle down in
Mardela Springs.
There’s plenty of work
under the table,
Enough to pay for your dish
or cable.
And still enough to send
back home,
No need to be here all
alone.
Start a business here with
loans from Sam,
You could even be a
Madame.
If that is what is your true
calling,
No one would think that is
appalling.
Don’t try this though, in
say, Riyadh,
Or you will face a firing
squad.
Sneaking into Ol’ Havana,
You’ll be sliced like a ripe
banana.
Slipping into the city of
Moscow,
They won’t ask why, or even
how.
You’ll be shipped to Siberia,
At least it’s better than in
Syria.
Trying this same thing in
Mexico,
Could lose you your fingers
and your toes.
“A land of immigrants” we
are told,
Is what went into the
American mold.
It’s wrong to turn out in the
cold,
“Illegal” is often the word
that goes untold.